Jellofart's Blog --> Relationships --> Should my wife start dating other men while we are still living together?
10Mar/1025
Should my wife start dating other men while we are still living together?
Reader question: My wife told me two months ago that she was thinking of separating. Three weeks ago, she made this official. We must still live in the same house for at least three months. However, she has been flirting online for at least a month and has men that she would like to start dating immediately. She says it's not my business. It is so hurtful. Thoughts?
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March 10th, 2010 - 17:35
No, she is still married to you. Why do you have a female avatar?
March 10th, 2010 - 18:26
as long as she is your wife and living in the home it is your business!
at least tell her to use birth control/condoms
dont take her back !
March 10th, 2010 - 19:04
sounds like you didn’t explore her sexual fantasies. If you want her, you need to step up you bedroom skills
March 10th, 2010 - 19:29
No she shouldn’t it is very disrespectful, it is women like her that makes us the good ones look bad!!!!!!!!!
March 10th, 2010 - 20:18
Keywords: Wife and Still Living Together! Unless you are legally separated, it is illegal for her to be with another man (or woman for that matter). When it comes down to the divorce she can lose everything and get nothing from you if you can prove that she was not faithful. Even if me and my husband were separated and not living in the same house, no matter how unhappy I was, I would never start dating another guy immediately. So, unless you guys are legally separated (which it sounds like you are not), she should not be dating anyone else.
March 10th, 2010 - 20:37
Out of respect for you, she should not be dating people until the divorce is final.
March 10th, 2010 - 20:45
You are still married whether you live together or apart. She will be cheating if she dates before you divorce. Don’t be hurt. Keep the records and save some money when you divorce.
March 10th, 2010 - 21:42
she should wait til yall or living separate cuz it is a thing that’s called respect and i would tell her how u feel.
March 10th, 2010 - 22:36
Left Behind, I have a pair of friends who also lived like this for a couple of years due to financial as well as their daughter’s sake. It actually worked out great for them as he lived in the basement and she upstairs. Both were free to see others and had access to their daughter 24/7. Friends they remain(ed) and are still to this day. Both have remarried and failed at these relationships also but still remain close with each other. Sounds a little weird I know but in fact it is pretty mature thing to do and a great environment for the kid(s) if any are involved. Best of luck.
March 10th, 2010 - 23:12
Uh seriously have some respect..I think its ok to have the desire to want to sleep With someone else..but honestly she needs to have some respect for you until she or you move out…don’t dwell on it though, maybe you should just ignore it and be thankful you are divorcing now since she doesnt’ have a heart
March 11th, 2010 - 00:11
Sounds like it’s over so she can do what ever
Now if you guys decide to work it out and she has
banged 10 or 15 guys while you were separated i guess
it’s up to you if you want to let that slide
so if i were you i would get out there and do some banging
of my own on the chance you do try to get back together
every thing will be on a even playing, of course i know it’s much harder for men to go out and find sex buddies than it is for women.
March 11th, 2010 - 00:32
Thoughts?……yes…lots…..act like you don’t give a flying f..k…….and then slowly you won’t……..she might not have any idea that it’s killing you….or she just doesn’t care that she’s hurting you……either way…..RISE ABOVE IT…..get through these three months…..and get looking for a way out sooner……keep your head up…..and remember that you were fine before you met her….and you will be fine again…..get over her…in a hurry…..and don’t let her know it’s bothering you….cause she might turn it up a notch…….good luck…..p.s. concentrate on yourself……make you happy again…..
March 11th, 2010 - 01:32
no she should not start seeing other men it WILL cause so much trouble between you if she wants to see other people wait till she or u have moved out the same home
March 11th, 2010 - 02:05
My opinion is you are still married in the eyes of God….so neither of you should be dating.
March 11th, 2010 - 02:34
She should get all finalized first but the living together does not matter if both of you know it is over.
rd
March 11th, 2010 - 03:22
Yes, and I suggest you start dating other men as well.
March 11th, 2010 - 03:36
i think what she is doing is totally wrong but you cant stop her from doing what you want to do
March 11th, 2010 - 04:27
Your wife is having emotional and possible other affairs on the computer. She may have met someone and most likely is seeing them already. It is addictive. My guess is that she was spending a great deal of time on the computer prior to this epiphany about her need to separate. The process of flirting and chatting creates a reaction that feels the same way “being in love” does when you meet someone you are attracted to. The chemicals start flying in your body and it’s a very false feeling but one that feels really good (temporarily). Her need to be validated by other men is sad and really doesn’t reflect you as much as some would like to blame you. You can be a doting husband and still have a spouse that seeks this “fix”. It’s an addiction and it’s not easily broken. It’s why so many marriages are falling apart and so many people talk about the proverbial “soulmate” they found. The reality of an affair partner is not usually even close to the fantasy of them so she is in for a rude awakening. Most women also do not understand how many men (most married) are looking for their own fix…not a new wife and not a new partner although they will tell you anything on line (or in person) to “get you” and lead you on for months and years. It’s all part of the game. Extradite yourself from this scene asap. Unless she wants to make it work with you it will be a futile attempt to fix it. You are going to get dragged into a hurtful murky place. She will need to learn the hard way and you need to protect yourself. She can’t miss you unless you are gone and that is your best hope to salvage this relationship. Best of luck to you.
March 11th, 2010 - 05:15
She’s probably not doing anything different than she ever did anyways. At least now she’s not sneaking around about it.
March 11th, 2010 - 05:23
Are you two just separating or going to be getting a divorce? If you are separating then she can chose to date if she wants. I think it would be best if you get out of the house asap. The situation you are in would make anyone unconferrable. It sounds to me like she is ready to move on. I don’t know how you stay with someone like that who just does no care for you and will date other people right in front of you. She could at least wait until you leave the home. It sound like your relationship is over and may need to do more than just separate. Have you tow seek marriage counseling? If not, you should before she goes to far.
March 11th, 2010 - 06:20
im so sorry
if yall are married still she shouldnt
she might be thinking that if she has a relationship with another man and it doesnt work out she will still have you
get a divorce and show her you can do better
bring a woman home and see how she takes it
it sounds like shes the only one flirting with others
if so do it too and see what she says
if she realizes that loosing you is for real she might change her mind
im so sorry, you sound like a sweet guy and a very loving husband, im sorry your wife is a b****
March 11th, 2010 - 06:56
Geeezzz…the frying pan isn’t even off the fire yet!
March 11th, 2010 - 07:08
Really to be honest thats down right rude. I think she should at least wait untill one of you has moved out. So I believe shes already been seeing other people even before you two suggested this.
March 11th, 2010 - 07:21
What a Bi*ch, not cool. And why do you have to live together for 3 more months? Go to a friends or family members house. What a skank!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 11th, 2010 - 07:27
I think your definelty right.