1. 

   Rehey
   March 15th, 2010 - 02:17

   This book is a nice start for Christian couples (not recommended for people looking for a general, nonreligious/spiritual view) in that it raises important issues and encourages you to keep the discussion open afterward. The book is organized into topics such as Finance, Family Planning etc…and your future spouse answers the questions separately from you, guessing how you might answer, as well as answering for him/herself. Then the book asks you to grade how many questions you answered wrong/right, and sign a covenent on each subject based on things discussed. As thorough as this might be, there are some issues to keep in mind while reading this: 1) The language assumes certain roles and biases, which you may or may not agree with whether or not you are a Christian. E.g. “My father usually left a good tip for the waitress/waiter in restaurants,” or irrelevant questions such as questions assuming your parents are still together or their relationship was consistent throughout their marriage. Some of the questions don’t seem to have been updated for several decades. 2) You have to answer true or false, though many of the statements are not that easily answered. My fiancee and I ended up disregarding the scoring process, and discussing statements we thought were partly true or partly false rather than simplifying things to a T or F. The point is not to get a certain score after all, the point is to grow and learn about each other. 3) The chapter on finances is somewhat unspecific, so my fiancee and I are going to read a guide to finance next. There are other topics that are broad as well, but this book is designed that way. It’s up to you to follow through to the next steps. If you think finishing this book prepares you for marriage, you possibly are walking into marriage short-sighted. It is a good vehicle, however, for starting the conversation that you and your future spouse will continue to have for the rest of your lives. Good luck!
   Rating: 4 / 5
2. 

   Simone R. Ryan
   March 15th, 2010 - 05:12

   The book itself I’m sure is an excellent guide for devout Christians, or Christians period. The fact that every single page had at least one religious reference made it very difficult for a nonreligious person to read.
   Rating: 3 / 5
3. 

   Anonymous
   March 15th, 2010 - 06:35

   Any pre-marital preparation and counseling is a good idea in my book, but this is something special. While we were engaged and living in different cities, my wife and I went through this workbook individually chapter by chapter and discussed our responses over the phone. So many topics came up that we would never have thought to be major issues for us to deal with! The particular strength of this book over some others is the authors’ emphasis on families of origin. We each bring so much baggage and so many expectations into the marriage that comes from our families where we grew up! Many books ignore this, but Sloan and Hardin wisely forced us to look hard beyond puppy love and into real-life commitment. I get the feeling the authors have seen their share of wrecked marriages, have traced the problems, and have used that knowledge in the creation this book. Highly recommended.
   Rating: 5 / 5
4. 

   Anonymous
   March 15th, 2010 - 07:45

   My wife and I teach a premarital class at our local church and use this book as our workbook. So far, each of the couples in the class has really enjoyed finding what makes each other “tick”. This book, with its short chapters and questionaires, has helped stimulate in depth disscusions between the future mates about what “baggage” each is bringing to their marriage. The book covers topics from personalities and attitudes,to finances and sex. Each subject is presented from a Chistian perspective, and yet is general enough to be able to cross denominational lines. If you want to really get to know your future mate, read this book. It will open lines of communication that will last a lifetime.
   Rating: 5 / 5
5. 

   AverageGuyShopper
   March 15th, 2010 - 09:57

   My wife and I did this book before we got married. The chapters are very short, only a couple of pages, and getting through the book is relatively easy. We set a goal of one chapter per week, but if we missed a week, it was easy to make up.

   Besides the short chapters there were a few “list exercises” to complete. We would complete them separately, then compare afterwards. The great thing about this book is that it helps to start conversation about various topics. In a way, that is the best part of a pre-marital book, getting couples to talk about themselves, especially about topics that they may not regularly discuss. With discussion, expections can be set, and points of view can be expressed before there are conflicts. It doesn’t mean that there will be no conflicts, but at least you talked about it beforehand…

   Regardless of whether you’re Christian or not, this book has a good breadth of discussion points that could be very useful to anyone.
   Rating: 4 / 5

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